bachelorette-posterThis is me telling you to watch Bachelorette on Netflix. It’s so good. I love it. It’s BEEN so good, I don’t know why it isn’t everywhere and why people aren’t yelling about it to everyone.

This is one of those female-driven RAUNCHY comedies you’ve heard so much about! Starring all your wet dreams, Isla Fisher, Lizzy Caplan, and Kirsten Dunst as bridesmaids!! (It’s not that raunchy comedy though, this is a different one). Their friend from high school Becky (Rebel Wilson) is getting married! Except whoops, the night before the wedding they get high on coke and ruin her dress. They were trying to fit two people in it, in a cruel joke which could backfire on anyone. This launches them on a debaucherous nighttime journey to fix it, BUT ALSO THEMSELVES!!!!

Everyone has their own problems in addition to the shared main one, (I love how well the characters are written, they are casual and complex at the same time, just like REAL people!!). Lizzy Caplan, Gena, plays a girl who’s not over her ex-boyfriend from high school because he didn’t drive her to their abortion so she hates him but they were perfect together and she really still loves him but is too PROUD and GUARDED to admit it. (Also: Party Down fans- it felt like a fun little inside nod-her ex-boyfriend is Adam Scott!!! Isn’t that so perfect and wonderful??? Don’t we all miss that show?? Why didn’t it last forever?) Kirsten Dunst, Regan, plays a tough bitch who has her shit together and is a great friend but is also deeply unhappy and doesn’t know why. I LOVED Kirsten Dunst in this movie, mostly because this is the first time I’ve seen her play old and mean (of course she’s not that old, but she’s not a teen or ingenue or wide-eyed love interest/muse type) and she KILLS it. She was BORN to be old and mean!! Then my fave, Isla Fisher, Katie, the most interesting one to me, who is a fun ditz that loves to party but is also suicidal. And she plays it with this incredible control and subtlety that’s just, wow.

They go so many places for this dress, they go to the Bridal shop in the middle of the night to get a whole new dress but the only one they have in Becky’s size is Regan’s dream dress and she JUST CAN’T (white girl battle cry!!) so she makes them leave. She’s about to lick the sidewalk to prove how much the dress means to her, then somehow they get re-routed to a strip club where the Bachelor party is.

James Marsden plays Trevor, a lovable misogynist who refers to women as ‘things’ and encourages basically rape (2012!) and is the essential antithesis of his character Chris in 30 Rock. It’s fun to watch him be so believable in both. He and Regan have an interesting conversation where he “challenges” her and they have sex in a bathroom (basically acting out the idea that all powerful women just need to get fucked, but sometimes they do) which seems satisfying for everyone. I like that they don’t end up together.

This guy Joe from high school has been following Katie around all night and forever, he used to sell her weed and let her copy his homework and she doesn’t know his name but they are havin’ fun! Until the night takes a turn and Katie tries to kill herself. He is the one who finds her passed out after a Xanax OD attempt and he really cares about her/helps save her life. I like that they don’t end up together.

Gena somehow gets her ex-boyfriend (Clyde/Adam) out of a pickle at the strip club with a baby powder bottle full of coke and then they go to his MOM’s house, who is good at sewing. She ends up saving the day while her son and Gena have sex/eat pancakes. One of my favorite lines comes at this part, when Clyde gives Gena her pancake and says, “It’s got a frowny face on it cause the whole world’s an asshole” in a teasing tone making fun of her general demeanor and outlook.

Basically moms rule, and she finishes the dress. They get everything to the church/outdoor tent in time and get Becky down the aisle. But not before Becky calls Regan a blonde cunt, which felt like it needed to happen. They also don’t go down the aisle because collectively the three of them are covered in vomit, coming off a suicide attempt, and probably still a little coked up. I liked that all the main characters in this movie were cool failures.

The vibe the whole time was that these three girls used to make fun of Becky in high school and now it’s weird she’s more together than them, but we find out that Becky hid/took the blame for Regan’s bulimia the whole time, so really she’s been great this whole time, she’s just fat which often people conflate with “not doing well.” She even at one point, before marrying the man of her dreams who loves her, says, “Everyone thinks I’m too fat for him” which shows, even when YOU and YOUR PARTNER are happy, weight shit still affects identity and self-worth stuff if you let it. Fuck that! !

Sidenote: There was an article I read a while back that highlighted an excerpt from this man’s book who data-mined all these companies who log their search algorithms and an entire section was about porn and the most interesting part to me was that the MOST searched thing in the US was larger women. WHICH MEANS, that so many people are attracted to that body type but since we are all shamed into thinking it’s bad they don’t act on it because they’re afraid of what people will think, and then those women think no one wants them, and basically everyone could be happy if they accepted who they are and didn’t listen to companies trying to sell them jeans. Ok????

I liked the way relationships are communicated and handled in this movie, it feels pretty real and well-written. Like the funny friend in the movie is the same amount of funny your friends are in real life, not overdone or cheesy or staged. And even though they were doing coke out of a baby powder bottle or licking sidewalks or throwing up in bathtubs, I really would want to hang out with these characters! They were a mess and I can be a mess sometimes and it was fun to watch and I liked that no one had a real job I had to try to relate to.

In the end everything works out and everyone watches the wedding from a bench then drinks some more, and that’s how I want my wedding to be. If I could just sit in a corner and watch my wedding with my friends while we were drinking that would potentially be the best case scenario. And like stuff with my husband too, but not the WHOLE time.

This movie is also 1 hour and 20 min which is a GREAT LENGTH for a movie. You get engrossed and you’re watching something for longer than a show but none of your kids graduated college while you were in it, ya know? I just want all my kids to be happy is my main thing.

This movie is written and directed by Leslye Headland and it’s also based on the play she wrote. So, she seems great.

7/8 blood stains on ribbed satin, would masturbate again.



This entry was posted in Comedy, Drama, Netflix, Romantic Comedy, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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